Soggy Waffles

Most space movies feel claustrophobic, but Ad Astra didn’t. Instead of chest-tightening tight shots, each shot is filled with enough emotion to pack a punch Brad Pitt right in his pretty boy mouth. And Pitt, by the way, is definitely (inter)stellar as an astronaut on a mission to find the father who may not be the hero he’s romanticized.

I was on the fence about whether to give The Second Part a Microwaved or Crispy rating, but what sealed the deal for me was realizing that this movie committed the most egregious crime I’ll witness a movie commit all year.

The MCU’s most powerful superhero deserves a more epic introduction. 

I really hope everything Adam McKay puts forward in the future does away with the characters-talking-at-you thing that he apparently is fond of now. It worked well with “The Big Short” because it was funny and refreshing, but mostly because that banking shit is very confusing and was surely to go over the heads of 90 percent of the audience otherwise, myself included. Vice cheapens everything that worked well for The Big Short and turns its success into nothing more than a gimmick, with far diminished returns.

Over the past year, I’ve gotten more careful about reading reviews before I see movies so as not to subconsciously pawn off other critics’ opinions as my own, but there are two criticisms I couldn’t avoid hearing about Mary Poppins Returns before I saw it on Christmas Day. The first is that Emily Blunt sucked in the titular role, and the second is that the music sucked overall. I am here to say that I wholeheartedly agree with the latter, but couldn’t disagree more with the former.

If there’s anything to be said about Support the Girls, it’s that it’s got a lot of hearts. The writers clearly want you to feel for these characters, and while I almost certainly did for Hall’s shift manager Lisa, I can’t say the same case was made for the other girls.

My biggest takeaway from Ant-Man and the Wasp is similar to that of its predecessor: there’s a whole lot to like here, but not much to love. It’s fun and forgettable, for better and worse.

Qualms aside, there’s still plenty to enjoy in Ocean’s 8, the highlights including the heist sequence, a solid soundtrack and Rihanna smoking two fat joints.

While the premise of parents trying to stop their daughters from having sex on prom night was stretched thin at times, it also made for a pretty fun lighthearted gross-out comedy. Nothing here is revolutionary, but it all works.

Overall, I thought Ready Player One was a lot of damn fun, and while I understand why so many changes were made from page to screen, I was bummed by the byproducts of some of these changes.

What makes Game Night better than your average Good Adults Behaving Badly studio comedy (I’m looking at you, The House) is the “Is it real, or is it?” premise of the movie, which allows the script to keep you guessing like a novel with an untrustworthy narrator.

I love Gerard Butler, but I always forget about him because I never see any of his movies. “Geostorm” what? “London Has Fallen” who? At this point, I’m not sure if he’s a decent actor who picks terrible roles or if he’s a B-list actor who’s stumbled into a few great ones.

Star Wars followers are as hard to please as any fan base, and it’s easy to get caught up in all the shit-talking people do as soon as the latest movie comes out. But when everything is said and done, the main purpose of Star Wars is to entertain, and “The Last Jedi” is entertaining as hell.